Thursday, July 26, 2012

How many are you?

Jake: Mommy how many are you?
Me: I am all your fingers plus all mine plus all of Daddy's
Jake: Dang thats a lot of pangers...

Yes that is a lot of "pangers" I am a lot of "pangers" I have been 30 for two months today and surprisingly it sucks a lot more than my friends warned me that it would...thanks guys. Well not much has changed appearance wise or really much as far as energy level. I still like who I am and the life I have but its the big fat realization of how fast youth goes by that is getting to me. Its not even my youth that I am concerned about but how fast my children's youth is going by. I mean yesterday I was rocking Dalton in my arms and today he is talking about going to jr high soon. My Jake will be starting kindergarten next year and my baby boy is using the potty...THE POTTY FOR GOD SAKES!!

I am not typically a slow learner so I am not sure why it took turning 30 for me to realize my own mortality but now that I have its all I think about. Every night I go to bed wondering if I got enough in today. Did I teach them enough? Did I hold them enough? Was I too rough on them? Did I handle it right one taped the other to floor?

I don't know if I am just hormonal for some reason or if this is some kind of early mid life crisis but I am having a hard time letting go of the past. I guess I  just want to make sure when the next decade is gone in the blink of an eye like the last one that I have no regrets which I know is probably impossible but I want to do everything possible to give them a happy childhood to look back on and tell their own kids about. Oh and I hope that I never forget the sweet smell of a little boys hair after a day of playing outside!! So if you see me sniffing my kids hair just ignore it I am just trying to absorb in a memory that I never want to forget!

Here's to making memories!!

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