Saturday, June 30, 2012

Cheese balls are a veggie...right?

Everyone is on a health kick everywhere and I also agree that eating healthy is very important but with kids it's not always easy. Somedays (like today) when it's 104 degrees and we are in the middle of several home improvement projects whether or not they eat their peas just isn't a priority for me. In fact on a normal day I am lucky if they at least get an equal amount of food in their body that they get on their clothes, hair and face. I just pick my battles and today what they eat ain't one of them. Yes I know I am a horrible person (and no mother of the year award) but look how cute he looks eating his blizzard and drinking his Diet Coke he had for dinner....

Now before you have a cow just know that I did offer him real food he just refused it and I have a far more nutrious meal of hot dogs and cheese balls planned for tomorrow. My oldest son said "cheese puffs are cheese and air...what's not healthy?" And for this weekend with all that is going on, I am ok with that logic!!

Happy Weekend Everyone!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Pull it on over...

Does everyone remember when you were little and how scary it was when you heard the words " I am going to pull this car over?" I remember being terrified of what would happen if mom actually had to pull over.

Well the days of that being a scary sentence is over because pulling over is just a natural part of my trip ANYWHERE we go now. It's actually not even a matter of whether or not I am going to pull over it's a matter of how many times we are going to pull over.

When my parents threatened to pull the car over our response was "no please don't, we will be good"

When I announce that I am pulling over my children's response is "yeah do dat, can we get out, where we going, can I move seats, he kicked me, buckle me back up too, hand me that ball, can you get my cup, why did that stranger whistle at you, why are you sweating, you hot mommy, I'm hot too, can we stop and get a drink, I need some food too etc etc etc...lather, rinse repeat 5 minutes down the road.

All this is annoying but I do savior the few seconds of silence as I walk around the car from their door back to mine!!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

You know you're a mom when...

Anybody can give birth. Yeah that part is painful but it's a walk in the park compared to the actual parenting that begins after the fact.

You know you have finally became a parent when...

Your shirt now doubles as clothing and a tissue/napkin

You no longer sit to consume food

You no longer notice your hair hasn't been brushed nor washed since God knows when

Make up is something for special occasions for yourself (whatever those are)

Poop is part of your daily conversations

Pee pee diapers are a pleasant surprise over the other option

You catch your self using words like pee pee, potty and nite nite even when talking to adults

You wipe other people's butt more times a day than your own

Going to the grocery store alone is equal to a day at the spa

You know more about what is happening on Sprout than the popular reality shows

Sleeping in your husbands arms turns into sleeping under two toddlers body weight

Romantic candle light dinners turn into Chuckie Cheese visits

Bathing becomes more of a social event than a private one

Your girl's night outs turn into lunch at the playground

Going anywhere in public turns into touring every public restroom in town

You are no longer surpised to find yesterday's cheese sandwich shoved anywhere in your home.

Drawings on your wall are more common than home decor

You find yourself stopping the tv on Nick Jr for a quick re fresher on your daily Dora!

For anyone reading this that is saying "my kids won't be as bad as hers" or "I would never let my child do that" Let me go ahead and tell you YES they will be and YES you will and you will love every minute of it :) ***Giveaway***

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Wednesday, June 27, 2012


I am so ashamed to say that I put my child in danger today. My heart is still so hurt that I made such a careless mistake but I am sharing it in hopes that it will save someone else from the same mistake.

We were all swimming and having a great time but they all started getting hungry and tired so we were preparing to get out and go inside. Jake took his swimmy off before we were out of the gate...MISTAKE NUMBER ONE.

I told him to sit down that we were not jumping in the pool in dry clothes to get him (Dear God I hope everyone knows I would jump in a pool of lions to get him, I just meant for him to sit down) Anyway he sat down and was fine until I turned my back....MISTAKE NUMBER 2 and the biggest of all. NEVER EVER EVER turn your back on a child next to water. My heart is so broke that I did something so stupid but I was getting the other kids ready and just talking. There is no excuse but it happened...

He jumped in the deep end with no swim safety gear on but before I could even see or process what had happened he SWAM. I don't know if it was angels pulling him or somehow he really taught himself to swim but he was climbing out before I could get to him!!!

Other than a little water in his nose and a little coughing he was just fine but I am not sure I am ever going to be ok again. I am so sorry to you Jake if you ever read these blogs that I was careless in taking care of you and for anybody else please realize how fast a tragedy can happen. Yes I realize that I am dramatic but I also see the million "what ifs" in the scenario and that is what will keep me up at night.

Even though I am horrified I am also extremely releived that nothing major happened and I got to learn two HUGE lessons. Never turn around for even a second around water (which I typically wouldn't do anyway) and never take life for granted because it can change in the blink of an eye.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Is it the moon or me?

Is something going on in the universe that is making everything crazy today? Like one of those mops standing up kinda things? My day has been insane and its only lunch time. I immediately wake up to one that pee'd in the biggie accidents happen and then the other poops in the floor. Which definitely adds a damper but wouldn't have been near as bad had he not tried to clean it up himself. Have you ever seen a two year old clean something tends to not be pretty. So sheets to the laundry, baby to the bath we go. While I am washing my smelly two year old my precious Jake stops the toilet up and its running everywhere which Connor takes as a perfect time to dump more water in the floor from the bath. Do you see how this day is going so far?

Ok ok so the best cure for a bad morning at home is to get out some right?
W R O N G! I decided to take them down to the bowling ally for a couple hours to help relieve some of the stress the morning had brought because its cheap and wouldn't be crowded this early in the day. At first it seemed like a good idea! Other than a few balls down the wrong aisle and a clogged water fountain everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. We have lots of pics like these....

 And right when I almost thought about relaxing a minute this one happened...

Yep Con dropped his ball on his toe (only after being told at least 480 times to keep his shoes on) So needless to say the massive amount of screaming cut this trip a little short. Now we are home and somewhere between the second and third paragraph of this blog Jake made himself a beard with Elmer's glue and potting soil and Connor rubbed his entire body down in ranch dressing. I am still recovering from a 3 day bout of food poisoning so all I hope for is to just make it through the rest of this day with everybody in one piece.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Flying high and running fast

Wow where do I start? So as most of you know we left for family vacation Wednesday and it was quite an adventure! We had a great time but a very hectic trip that began by staying in what can only be described as the Bates Motel and ended with a bout of food poisoning...all the stuff in between was great though.

The kids did their usual fighting over everything and I learned that they will go into a full on brawl over who gets to push the button on the elevator. Of all the things to do on vacation apparently that is one of the funniest because we had that fight several times a day. It also matters who opens the door first to any room we walk in and who gets in and out of the car first. For some reason they think there is a prize for being the first at anything!

Other than the fighting things went pretty smooth. Brian may beg to differ because he is still shocked at our children's behavior and energy level since he is gone through the week. Its an unusual adventure to him to have to get up 10 times through lunch and plunge a toilet 9 times in one day and make a child stop barking at the waitresses but its just second nature to me by now.

Their adventurous spirits are starting to rub off on me though. No I am not saying I am going to start streaking through any place possible I just mean I am starting to try things that I have never done before because of them. I am 30 years old and have never flown before until this weekend when they talked me into it and I have to say I absolutely loved it...maybe streaking is more fun than I think. I love that they are not even a decade old and have already done more than I have done in 3!

Going on vacation with them can be exhausting and there are no moments of just sitting by the beach and relaxing. Its pretty much a constant flow of running, playing and messes not much different than home. I won't even go into the details of the food poisoning cause I am sure you can imagine what a disaster that was but I will say it involved lots of pull overs in the car and sand buckets by our seats.That was definitely the worst part of the whole trip and I know it sounds like a lot of trouble to go through with all the packing, unpacking, crying, fighting, puking and screaming and you are right but there are just those moments like this one...

that make it all worth it!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Packing my crash helmet for sure!

Wow its been a busy week already and there are no signs of things slowing down! We have done Father's Day with my dad, his dad and him. Then yesterday the kids and I had Brian a birthday dinner and it was really great! The kids were on their best behavior when their grandparents came over which is very rare. I don't know what it is about Grandpa but normally Jake goes completely insane at the sight of him but yesterday was pretty nice. I only had to re wrap the gifts twice and only one of my children ended up with ice cream in their hair (and it was their OWN hair)...can you say SUCCESS!

I always try to make all my family feel special on their birthday. I am pretty good at pinning down a gift they will like and semi-ok at keeping it a secret. My sister nick named me the Gift Goddess a few years ago and I really love it- its totally appropriate to wear fairy wings with a name like Gift Goddess right? Anyway one thing that always tops things off is the perfect cake and I have an excellent cake lady! If any of you are local you should really check her out. Her cakes are beautiful and delicious. She has done all of my cakes for the past couple of years and I am pretty picky.
                                                    Click here to check her out!

Now that the birthday stuff is over I have to pack for our family vacation. I am super excited about taking the kids to the beach because they always have such a great time but it makes me super nervous going with the adults being out numbered by kids. I have a hard enough time taking them to Walmart and keeping up with everybody and my sanity!! I always get this anxious feeling before we go out of town but so far every trip has turned out amazing but now they are bigger and stronger and faster....oh no LOOK OUT MYRTLE BEACH THERE ARE THREE HURRICANES HEADED YOUR WAY!

I may not have time to post for a couple days. I know, I know it's tragic but I won't be gone long. I wanted to leave everyone some inspiration for their week while I am gone.

Be a little daring

Clown around sometimes

And hold tight to the ones you love

Have a great week "Crazy" Readers!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Time Marches On...

On holidays I can't help but imagine my boys as grown men and fathers. I wonder what they will look and what career paths they will take and what their wives will be like. They are all so different now I wonder how they will be as adults. Its sort of bitter sweet to think these thoughts but I cant help it. I see how fast these years have gone by and I know how fast the next decade will go by.

It won't be long we will say good bye to Santa and the tooth fairy and hello to girlfriends and fast cars. Carefree moments of them strolling nudie through the sprinklers will turn in to curfews and nights out with friends.

The days of cartoon movies in the living room together will turn into horror flicks with buddies at a theater and begging to go for pizza afterward. The nights of everybody co sleeping in mom and dads bed will turn into crashing at a friends house because its more fun.

Homemade superman capes hung on their shirts will turn into whatever trendy gear is in at the time (Dear God please don't let be skinny jeans or saggy pants and I might make it through) Funny little crocs and rain boots will turn into over priced insanely ugly tennis shoes.

Sweet little notes in a lunch box will turn into love letters and text from some potential girlfriend. Nite Nite kisses from mommy and daddy will turn into romantic good night kisses from a young love.

Baby soft cheeks will turn into prickly stubble and razor cuts from a beginner shaving. Scooping them up in my arms will turn into having to look up to make eye contact.

It breaks my heart to even have the thoughts of letting go. I plan to hang on to these moments as tight and as long as I can but its inevitable that they will grow up. They will go through heartaches and heart breaks no matter what. Maybe our advice and guidance will save them some but probably not. Somethings are just part of life.

My biggest hopes and dreams for my boys are they grow up to be responsible and learn from their mistakes, they remember only the good times from their childhood and they become fathers like the one they have.

Happy Father's Day to all the father's out there past, present and future. Savior the moments you have with your kids and your fathers because time marches on no matter how hard we strive to make it stand still.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Let's play a game

Conversation with Jake...

Jake: Mommy, lets pway a game

Me: Ok lets play the quiet game

Jake: Yeah ok

Me: Ready Go

*********** 2 SECOND PAUSE***********

Jake: I lose...lets pway sumtin else, sumtin more pun

Friday, June 15, 2012

But its baby proofed!!!

We were not the parents that ran through baby proofing everything when we had Dalton. It was enough with Dalton just to put something up a little higher or close a door and he got the point but these last two are a total different story. They get into everything and by everything I mean they take your pictures off the walls, flush your favorite shirt down the toilet, play in 3 different 10 pound bags of sugar because it tastes better than sand, cover themselves in pine sol and roll in the ashes of the fire place, put all their brothers clothes in a box and pee on them, sneak out of the house to play at 6am, feed anything within reach to the outside dogs, spray your kitchen with a garden hose and throw every single remote in the house down the air vents...all true stories and those are just the ones I remember off hand.

Now like I said we weren't ones that ran out to spend a fortune on baby proofing because our kids were not going to do such things. You know those perfect children you picture in your head before your real ones are actually born? Gosh those kids are great! Unfortunately they only exist in the minds of people that don't yet have children.

We have now bought every latch, lock and cover possible and yet they are STILL getting into everything. Just this morning Jake colored the bottom half of his body with a permanent marker and Connor has "spiked" his hair with honey mustard. He looks like a unicorn and smells like mold. This happened because my Mutant Ninja children have learned to unscrew the latches and they use the broom to get down anything they can't reach. I swear I feel like I can't blink my eyes some days without opening them to a disaster!

So much for baby proofed!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Press 1 for English

I am your typical mother that just naturally assumes my children are the smartest kids in the world and every accomplishment they make is a definite sign that they will be world famous scholars someday. I do however realize that right now we speak a form of alternative English. Here some examples of things that would need to be translated for those that speak the traditional English language.

Obvious ones:

Wa Wa = water
Ba Ba = bottle (which yes I know is a word we shouldn't even have with a 2 year old but get over it)
Shared = scared
Dock= dark
Doe = door
Hippy Dup = sippy cup
tookie = cookie
eva tang = everything

Harder ones to decipher:

dardane = airplane
pickles = nipples
gar goos = goggles
ice cack = ice cream
dino whore = dinosaur
red traunt = restaurant
butt cack = exactly what you are thinking and with three boys yes this is a common term
himmy suit = swim suit
heap dad = Leap Pad
Pire man Ham = Fireman Sam
Hi You = Caillou
Red Fereal = Lucky Charms
Yight On = Light on
Pong = phone
Pooter = computer
hamie hamie = shamey shamey
wee wee, pee pee, weiner, doodle = well I will let you figure that one out

The way kids talk is one of my favorite parts of them being little! It makes me sad that I can't remember all the ones they have said over the years. I guess I take longer than you should to start correcting them but I can't help it! It makes me sad that my Dalton has got big enough to now be the one correcting us over grammar instead of the other way around! I wish I could just keep them little forever.

PS It may be a little while before I post again. My computer may just explode when I hit the spell check button on this post!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Perfectly Imperfect

Today started out to be a perfect day. The kids were being good, the weather was beautiful and we had a full day by the pool planned until I made a mistake that put a damper on the day. I can't really talk about it right now but its pretty safe to say I will not be going in to any driving careers anytime soon. I am just thankful that no one was hurt and hopefully it's not going to turn into a huge ordeal but we will see and definately talk about it later.

When I do make a big mistake I love that I always have the forgiveness and support of my family. It may seem like I complain a lot about the things they all do but honestly I wouldn't change a thing about my life.  I hope that I show them enough that even on the craziest, messiest, loudest of days that I know I have the greatest family in the whole world. They love me and I love them through everything...

                                              Through bad hair days                                                                           
                                           Through the happiest of times


And even through all our mishaps

I know my boys are going to make plenty of mistakes through their lives. I hope I have the kindness and patience (which I have had lots of practice) to help them through it. I am not perfect and neither are they but we are perfectly imperfect and I love them more and more everyday through all the noise and mess and crazy!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Its a lose/lose

Well this morning was a complete disaster. I wanted to take the kids out for a morning of shopping for their dad's upcoming birthday and reward them with a trip to the museum and Sweet Frog. I should have known after they got in a full on brawl in the bathroom floor because Jake got toothpaste put on his brush first that it was probably not a good idea but I was trying to be optimistic...BIG MISTAKE on my part.

Our first attempt to leave the house we made it about four feet from the door when Jake fell in a mud puddle and Con jumped in for the heck of it, so back inside to change we go. Second attempt to get in the car was not a total failure, only a slight melt down over seat belts and who won the race of getting in first but nothing I couldn't handle. On the twenty minute drive from our house to Hobby Lobby it was a constant flow of fighting over whether we would watch a video or listen to a song and Connor chiming in with his pointing out of EVERYTHING we pass. RED LIGHT MOMMY, BIG TRUCK MOMMY, RADIO, NOOOO CAILLOU, STOP SIGN MOMMY, WA WA MOMMY, MUSIC, NOOOO MOVIE and so on and so on. However me being the positive Patty that I am was sure bribing them with ice cream would do the trick once we got there but again BIG MISTAKE.

Immediately upon our arrival the two little ones are already fighting over who was going to ride where in the double stroller even though both eventually jump out regardless and I am stuck pushing this 200 lb bus with one arm while grabbing children with my free arm. Once that chaos had passed we make it in the store and this is where the true meaning of this blog begins....

On one aisle I am struggling to keep the kids in the stroller with both screaming to the top of their lungs and flailing around like I am trying to give them a tranquilizer or something (which may not have been the worst thing) and a stranger; with no children with her mind you, says to her friend "those kids need some discipline." Discipline for bad behavior...Thank you Captain Obvious I never thought of that one!!

Two aisles down the store both kids are now out of the stroller running two separate directions and grabbing everything in site. I reach down and take a very expensive picture from Jake and popped him on his butt and put him back in the stroller for about the 45th time. This time a new stranger says "I never had the heart to spank mine, I think its pitiful to hit a child" I wanted to reply Oh really, that's sweet and what prison are they in, but Connor was already running away so I missed my opportunity! And a swat on the rear is not really a "spanking" in my opinion but anyway.

Talk about being damned if you do and damned if you don't!! This is why I always say to do what you feel is right because no matter what you do somebody is going to disagree. If you see a parent out with a screaming child or having a hard time getting the situation under control instead of giving them the stank eye or your judgement give them a little praise even if its just silently to your self. At least they are there trying their best!

Oh by the way, we did make it to Sweet Frog because after the third time the stroller was tipped over, the second time Jake unbuckled his and Con's car seat and the last fight over the radio I was definitely in the mood for some emotional eating!!

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Monday, June 11, 2012

Always ready to lend a helping hand

I will give it to anybody that my children are as wild as Texas tornados but they have hearts as big as the moon. My oldest has actually got into trouble at school for giving his lunch and snack money away several times and the two youngest are always in line to be helpers. Now sometimes their help ends up being more of a hinder than help but its the thought that counts...right? Here are some examples of things they are especially good at....

                                                          washing the car in the mud

Hanging Pictures

Painting the toy room

Dressing themselves

Holding your food when your hands are full

Finding Money in hard times

Skin Care

But they are best at making me the happiest girl on the planet!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Eat, Drink and be Crazy

Well let me start off by apologizing to anyone who has been in a restaurant at the same time as my  family. Dinner out is a whole new experience when we go out with all three of our kids. This adventure usually includes somewhere between 7 to 8 trips to the restroom, at least 3 spilled drinks, the occasional spilled plate, the opening of 95 sugar packets, several total melt downs and an early trip to the car for me with at least one and possibly two children. We do tip well though if that's any consolation to the poor server stuck with waiting on us or cleaning up afterward. We could just eat at home but I figure everyone should get to share in all these blessings of ours once in a while. Plus I like a challenge :)

Contrary to what everyone is hoping for I am happy to report that we made it through an entire dinner last night without any major issues other than some volume control but I don't consider that a set back since I am sure I am partially hearing impaired by now. If I leave a meal without being thrown out and with minimal food in my hair I consider it a success!

We then decided to reward the troop with a trip to play putt putt and games since their behavior was moderately acceptable at dinner and had a great time! My four year old, Jake hit the jackpot on one of the games. Of course when the siren went off he immediately hid and said "oh no I droke it" Thank goodness this was one time a siren was going off because they did something good! They all won tons of tickets which was great except for the hour it takes them to decide whether they want blue plastic frog or a yellow one only to change their mind no matter which they pick. I seriously took less time picking out a college than they do picking out a sucker flavor!

All in all yesterday was a great day and I love the days we all five get to spend together! Well I just heard someone ask "ewww is that poop" so I better go solve this mystery.

Before I go let me say I hope all of you are...

                                                          LIVING CAREFREE



Happy Sunday "Crazy" Readers...thanks for returning!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Mt Everest may be easier

Well I am on my 6th day in a row of not having any help here due to my husband working long hours and I feel like I have been in a mosh pit on roller blades with my hair on fire for the past week. I probably look like it too! I would post a pic of that but I don't want to scare off new readers. I have lost track of the last time I washed my hair and I am pretty sure I have gum or jelly on my butt but since I haven't sat on it in the past 144 hours I am not too concerned. Even when Brian comes home at 5:30pm I still do the majority of the child rearing but he is a very hands on dad so I do get a break when he is here. At least with him here I can leave the room without fear of them spraying the house with a fire extinguisher or putting the cats down the air vents...yes both has happened in the past...twice three times.

The one thing that has kept me from jumping naked into on coming traffic this week is knowing that Brian is coming home eventually. I can't help but think and feel for the moms that doesn't have a saving Grace coming to give them a break. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and would gladly spend my life alone with them if I had to but I would be a liar (and so are you) if I tried to say parenting is a breeze and always la dee da. Your needs and wants don't change just because you gave birth, they just become far less important.

FYI just in the time its took me to type these two paragraphs Jake has gotten in the freezer and treated himself to some garlic bread and Cool Whip and Con has took his clothes off (again) and unfolded the three loads of laundry I had folded on the table. Oh and kindly covered the kitchen in the recycle bags. Can you really blame for wanting a minute alone or a shower without being asked "did your doodle fall off"

It's not just the break that I miss when my husband isn't home. It's the companionship, the team mate and someone to blame for these wild kids! I sure couldn't image going through life without him and I wish that every child out there had a great dad like Brian and every woman taking on this mountain sized task called parenting on her own had a shoulder to lean on. You girls are brave and deserve more credit than you get!

Oh well I better go for now and get my little men ready for a day of outdoor fun and celebrating the fact that DADDY IS COMING HOME!!!

Friday, June 8, 2012

This one's for you...

There has been so much going on this week I am having a hard time finding a way to put into words what I am feeling. I am massively exhausted of course but my heart hurts as well for all the friends I have that is going through personal tragedies this week. Just know my prayers and thoughts are with you guys. I don't want to mention any names but I am sure you know who you are. I hope God sends peace and comfort your way.

Even if I don't know you personally but you are having a rough time please know that this one's for you as well...

When your road gets rocky stay on the straight path, let God be your life jacket and the sky be your limit.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Here's looking at you kid

Well as I said yesterday rainy, nasty weather does not mix well with rowdy, rambunctious children. We had almost seven hours of steady spats and spills before it was time to sit down for lunch. And upon yelling for Jake to come eat I get "I can't I am stuck."


He means he locked the door and pulled the door handle off into the room with him. I tried in vain for 30 minutes to pry the broken lock out with a screwdriver and 30 minutes seems like 5 hours when you are panicking and trying to calm an upset pre schooler. After the screw driver failed I just decided to go around the outside of the house and pull him out through a window but they were locked and in response to me trying to tell him how to open it I got "I can't hear you and I have to pee really bad." I called my husband at work because he tends to be able to walk me through these situations in a calm manner. That's how we work I am a paranoid freak and he is cool as a cucumber...ying yang affect. Anyway he was too far away for work to come home and couldn't tell what to do over the phone so he called his father to come over. GRANDPA TO THE RESCUE!! My father in law is the most cool, collected person on the planet. I guess that's where my husband gets it from. He did such a great job of not getting aggravated and after three different tools, several plans of taking my door down,  two mentions of calling the fire department (which I was not opposed to by the way...I mean who doesn't like firemen) and one big pull with a crow bar JAKE WAS FREE AGAIN!

 Thank goodness it's sunny today and we will be changing the kids rooms to knobs that don't lock very soon!

I selected this post to be featured on my blog’s page at Top Mommy Blogs.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Rain is only good if you are a plant

Well its raining and for some people that means a relaxing day inside or frizzy hair if you have to go out but for me it means 14 straight hours of messes, fighting and answering the question of "when is the sun coming out."

If you read my blog then you already know what kind of week I have had and if this is your first time reading then just watch the first 30 minutes of  Saving Private Ryan and imagine them all in poop diapers and shooting cap guns and you will get a good idea of what its been like. My children are on some type of mission this week to make me lose whats left of my sanity and the last thing I needed was a rainy day.

I know I know you are sitting there picturing these two sweet little toddlers sitting Indian style on the floor watching Tom and Jerry re runs quietly while I neglectfully read a magazine on the couch. Well wipe that fantasy away and lets talk reality. My boys are outside kind of guys and when they are trapped in ITS NOT PRETTY and I haven't laid on the couch in 9 years.

The fighting is so much worse and the disasters are non stop. Just in the past hour my two naked children..yes I said naked because I gave up on clothes about 35 dressings ago...have flooded the bathroom, spilled two drinks, poured out the coffee creamer, broke my fake tree, pulled two pictures off the walls, destroyed their rooms and pulled out all the plastic bags out of recycle. At least I don't have to work out tonight because I am sure I have burned half a million calories trying to stop some of this chaos (thats me, always finding a silver lining). We have managed to work in a pre k lesson for Jake, read a couple books and work on an art project until Con pee'd on it and put a halt on that.

I swear its days like today I think I should take up a drinking but its the days that are smooth and easy that keep me going and sober but who wants to hear about that? The madness is what you come for isnt it? I am kind of OK with being the lady that people say "well at least she understands where I am coming from"  Well I am going to cut this a little short for now I just heard Jake say "that looks neat in the toaster" and I am positive its not a good situation waiting on me.

Have a great day and pray for sunshine....

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Thank Goodness I look good in green

Some days I feel like the best mother on the planet like I just have parenting down pat and I could handle five more kids if I had them. And then I have days like I have had yesterday and today when my children behave like they have been raised by rabid coyotes! Its also on these days when the women that seem to have it so together makes me so green with envy. I want to just go over and mess up their perfect hair and break their perfectly spiked stilettos. (by the way those heels are not a good look at field day and normally I wouldn't say anything but I am exhausted and it irked me)

Its hard to not wonder what you are doing wrong when you look over at perfectly behaved children holding hands with their perfectly put together mother and probably reciting the Lord's prayer while yours are face planting mud puddles and asking the police officer if he sleeps in big boy underwear. I mean really...WHY DOES HE SAY THESE THINGS?? I do the things people/books tell you to do with children. I am consistent with punishment and rewarding yet somehow my children are always the ones streaking through church or licking random children or freeing the animals at the fair.

I love my kids and I don't want to change their spirit for life or the excitement they have for everything but I do realize that their behavior is a reflection on me since moms get the blame for everything...right? I for one would like to say that not all behavior is learned. I have never patted my doctor's boobs...EVER or painted another person in peanut butter and rolled them in the sand.

I am not typically a jealous person. I guess this comes from just being satisfied with who I am. I like myself, my family and the things we have worked for. I just cant help but get a little jealous though when I see someone have such a handle on something that I am dedicating my life to being good at. I don't like feeling jealous or even feeling like I wish my children were any different than they are because at the end of the day I love them just like they are but envy is natural emotion I guess. Plus I play it off good I just tell myself she probably has vodka in that coffee mug and if that don't work I just take the  jealousy for what it is and accept that envy green is a good shade for me!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Jack of all trades

I really hate when I am filling out a form for something and it asks about employment and there is no option for stay at home parent. I assume this is because people think that if you don't work outside the home you do NOT work.

Well I would just like to say that it is 9 am on Monday morning and I have already took one child to school, done 4 loads of laundry, made 3 beds, gave 2 baths, cooked 3 different breakfasts, done the dishes for all 3, been both a train conductor and passenger, a horsey, a cowboy, a robber, been shot 80 times with a Nerf gun, drew 14 trucks and cars, washed the markers off the wall and the baby, read 4 pre k books, fixed the TV twice, dressed both little kids at least 10 each, broke up 7 fights and BLOGGED about it all!

I WANT a job option on the forms...master of all will be sufficient :)

Saturday, June 2, 2012

To have and to hold...for awhile longer

OK this is my sweet baby Connor

and that critter beside him is his beloved wubba. Connor was my first baby to take a paci and this is quite possibly because he was the most difficult baby I had and I would have bought him a new Corvette if it would've made him stop crying for five minutes. What no mother of the year award...well keep reading and I am pretty sure I will be permanently removed from the nomination.

OK he cried...ALOT so I found something that would help soothe him and everybody thought he was so cute cuddling with his new little friend. The only problem is now that he is two people want to start advising me on taking it from him, bad teeth blah blah blah and while I appreciate advice I am not one to typically take it if I don't want to. I trust the instincts God blessed me with to know what is best and my instincts (along with the dentist) says he is fine! In fact that's the only advice I would ever try and give a mother, go with your gut, your heart and medical professionals. Google and Facebook can really get you mixed up sometimes.

Now put down your phone. DSS does not care that my child is still on a paci and occasionally a bottle (yeah there went the nomination..right?) and I do NOT mind at all. My main priority in life is to raise happy, healthy boys and so far we are ok. If I need help I am not ashamed to ask and neither should anyone else be but if what you are doing is safe and it works for you GO FOR IT. Society is not in the living room with you at 3am on your 495th rendition of Rock a Bye Baby so why should they get the say on what decisions you make?

Besides I certainly plan to take it from him before he that is. And if you don't like whats in his mouth just focus on those amazing baby blues

Friday, June 1, 2012

Too close for comfort

My first two kids were almost 6 years apart and it was a breeze. The oldest was old enough to be excited about the baby and not at all jealous but I felt bad because they were so far apart it seemed they didn't have anything in common. So in comes the third baby 21 months later and my breeze turned into a full on hurricane!

Kids close together, especially two of the same gender, has obvious benefits. For instance I get to pass down tons of clothes and toys. They get to have birthday parties together and its easy to find activities of similar interests since they are typically into the same things. Now as lovely as that sounds just know there are definite down sides as well that I didn't count on.

Now I fully expected the challenge of having two in diapers at one time and possibly a little jealousy over my attention but I thought the benefits of having two that would be best playmates would out weight the negative. I am starting to think I was wrong.

Apparently I missed the article in What to Expect when You are Expecting that says your two toddlers will fight all day long over everything. My two youngest fight over EVERYTHING. From who gets to open the door to who gets to get in the car first. The fighting starts first thing in the morning over who gets what sippy cup at breakfast and toddlers are born with the ability to find a difference in items that adults see as identical.

I am sure this too shall pass but right now its the biggest obstacle I run into with the two of them home in the mornings together. I really dream of the day that they just play together in harmony but for now I guess I will just continue to break up the tug a war battle every minute of everyday