Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Christmas!

Well its the day after Christmas and I am up to my eyeballs in toys and laundry. Jake is naked except for new fireman rain boots. Connor has some thing in his hair that looks like a half eaten candy cane but I don't have the energy to examine it. Dalton is playing in his room with all his new video games and I am sitting here grateful for another perfect Christmas with my three crazy, insane, hyper, beautiful, smart, HEALTHY little boys!

In light of the Newtown tragedy I have found it hard to even complain about anything my kids do. My  heart, prayers and much sympathy go to the families of the victims. 

I have learned to never take a minute for granted!!

I hope all of you guys had a very Merry Christmas and you have a happy, safe New Year!

We will be going into the new year as loud and crazy and we went out of the last one :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Choose your words carefully

I should know by now that I have to choose what I say carefully when dealing with Jake but sometimes I forget and this is what I end up with...

ME: Jake just put something on we have to go...I don't care what you wear


Happy Monday!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Favorite things

It's a common fact I complain a lot. I am ok with you saying that. I hate messes, I hate poop, I hate screaming, I hate Caillou and I hate that I haven't gone to pee alone in 5 years. I share these feeling quite often to make myself feel better and to help other moms know its ok to have days that you feel like looking up the age limit on the safe haven law.

However being that it is close to Thanksgiving and I am so very thankful for my family I wanted to share some of my favorite things that the kids do. This list is very long and it changes all the time but here are a few.

I love...

that Jake always asks "how was your good day" at the end of every day

that Connor thinks as long as he can't see me I can't see him

that Dalton is singing a solo in the Christmas play

that Jake says all "F" words with a "P" ex: Pood Lion, Put for foot, Peebee for our dog Phoebe

that Connor calls band aids "bird houses" and we all go along with it

that Dalton tells me knock knock jokes every day on the way home from school

that Jake gets so excited and nervous when he is giving someone a gift

that Connor now calls his butt his BUNNY BUN

that Dalton is the smartest kid in his grade at school and possibly on the planet (biased much??)

that at the end of every day Jake turns off the crazy and is so sweet and loving

that Connor won't go to bed without being tucked in first

that even though Dalton is getting older he still loves to hang out with Mom!

If I don't post again between now and then I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving!!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Do NOT try this at home...

Let me go ahead and kill your curiosity ..PUMPKINS DO NOT HOLD UP AFTER BEING WASHED ON THE WHITE CYCLE!!

In fact it makes a pretty disgusting mess. Do not attempt to wash your Jack o Lantern in your new Whirlpool front loader. I would not suggest doing it in any washing machine but you are free to use your own discretion.

This message is brought to you in part by...

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Is it just me?

Does anyone else have days that you feel like all you get done is saying stop that, get down from there, don't swing on those curtains, get the dog off the table, don't put that in his hair...or yours, NOOOO, get out of that water, stop writing on the walls, please go to the potty next time, stop putting stuff down the vents, leave the tv alone, stop pouring those drinks out, AHHHHHHH

Well I am having one of those days today!!

Scary thing is, its quiet from the other room as I post this. I am certain a disaster is awaiting my return!

In case I have my self committed to an insane asylum before I get to post again and they don't allow computers in the crazy house let me go ahead and tell you all now that I hope you have a great weekend!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Long time no see

I just got an email yesterday asking where I have been. I am still around and I very much appreciate that you guys miss your daily dose of Crawford craziness. I think people like my blog because it makes them feel better about their own lives and children. At least you can say "well my kids are bad but that lady's kids" LOL

Anyway we are doing well but with it's getting into holiday season and I have been super busy. We had Dalton's birthday at the end of Sept and as you know we got a new puppy in early Sept named Phoebe...

Well apparently my husband is not a fan of our 2 pound friend so he wanted a dog that they could play a little rougher with, in comes Lilly....

Along with adjusting to having two puppies on top of all my usual craziness we are preparing for Halloween

Anyway I just wanted to let my readers see what I have been up to lately and why I haven't had much time to get on here but don't worry when things slow down I will have plenty of madness to share! Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

We all need a little help now and then

When the boy says he is stuck, he means it....

Have a great week and if you get in a jam just yell as loud as you can and hopefully someone that loves you will be near by to pull you out!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The future is clear and I am screwed

I read a different article every day on the news pages about how much we are screwing up our kids. I read this morning that if you raise your voice around your child they will grow up to be insensitive, uncaring adults. God already knows spanking causes definite psychological problems and time outs causes abandonment issues so all forms of discipline is off the table. If you discipline at all you are doomed to a life time of a screwed up kid that will blame you for everything from relationship problems to the elastic breaking in their underwear.

I also read that you should never bribe your kid to do what you want them to. So for all us that say "if you please don't act like a rabid coyote in this store I will buy you some candy" WE ARE SO SCREWED. Our kids are destined to turn out to be the weird guy that sits on park benches eating his own eye lashes.

I don't think I even need to go into the consequences we will face for cursing, smoking or drinking alcohol ever. And don't you even think about letting that child cry while you pee...WEAR A DIAPER LADY and change it when you are not busy making your child's life as cushy as possible.

The more I read the more I am convinced that either a toddler is writing these articles just to mess with us or I should be saving up for therapy funds for the kids instead of college funds!

Happy Tuesday "Crazy" Readers

Monday, October 1, 2012

You are going to miss this

That is a phrase that I have really started to hate hearing. I mean as if we don't have enough pressure on us we have to constantly be reminded that we are going to regret every single minute that we didn't spend singing lullabies and kissing our kids dirty faces.

I realize that I am going to miss them being home and safe when I have to start letting go but while my two are playing naked hide n seek in the clothes racks at the store is not the time to remind me. 

Please remember that most days I am dirty, sleepy and haven't spoke to another person with any type of volume control in days so I am sure my opinion is just based on the raw feelings of what I am going through in the moment but I am not entirely sure I am going to miss ALL of this.

Oh God I have confirmed your past thoughts of me being the worst parent in the world right? Well let me explain a little further. I think I will miss tiny clothes and holding my babies in my arms and SINGING LULLABIES because yes, I do all that stuff too!! Its just the constant screaming and messing and pooping and not sleeping that I think I will celebrate a little being gone.

Right now I can not focus on the regrets I will have ten years from now for the jealousy I have of people that sleep past 5am and only have to wipe their own butts in a day.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Good, The Bad and The Sober

People tell me a lot that I am a good mom and of course I think it is the ultimate of all compliments but I am not quite sure what qualifies you as a "good" mom.

Am I a good mom because I read to my kids...even if I actually skip pages because I am too exhausted to read Clifford goes to School one more time.

Am I a good mom because I feed my kids nutritious meals...even if I am counting the eggs, milk and vegetable oil in chocolate cake as food groups.

Am I a good mom because I take my children to museums to broaden our horizons...even if I am too lazy to actually read what the signs say and I just make up things as we go along.

Am I a good mom because I put all their needs above my own...even if I resent them a little for their freedom to bathe and nap whenever they feel like it. (Seriously kids NAPS ARE AWESOME you will realize that one day)

Anyway this list could go on and on and for anyone who has told me that I am a good mom I hope I don't change your mind by sharing some of my "cheating" with you. I personally think I am a good mom too. Now I have set the bar a little low because I take into consideration how incredible insane this job is but I think more mom's are good moms than bad. And even if you are bad once in awhile (like shouting profanities at the dog when it wakes the baby) you still deserve credit for trying.

So if you are with your children as much as possible, doing the best you can do, loving them everyday and are staying sober at least the majority of the time pat yourself on the back because this lady thinks you are a good mom!

Have a great weekend Crazy Readers and don't forget to sign up for the Reading Horizons giveaway.

Reading Horizons GIVEAWAY

I have been using Reading Horizons phonic program with Jake for a couple months now and I am so impressed with his progress! We work 3-4 days a week together and he is already recognizing words that he could barely pronounce when we first started.

I was so amazed at how much material is actually included in your kit. It is enough to be able to move up as your child learns and progresses with his or her reading skills. The activity suggestions and the story books are fun for the kids and simple enough for them to understand. Oh and the teacher manuals are wonderful especially for those of us that have no teaching experience. They are really helpful to use as a guide on daily activities!

I also subscribe to the Reading Horizons Newsletter to help keep up with the latest news and changes!

Enter below for your chance to win your own Reading Horizons kit...FREE!!

You can click the Reading Horizons Newsletter link above to be directed to the sign up page!

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Monday, September 24, 2012

Just spreading joy and cheer....and crazy

Well in honor of it being Monday I had intended on a post that was cheery and non disastrous just so you guys don't think that I spend everyday chasing my sanity out the window and to start the week out on a positive note but it's been too exhausting of a day for positive so I will just give you a little crazy!

Actually I am exaggerating on today's craziness. Other than 3 or 4 fights and maybe 7 or 8 tantrums and one butter in the bed incident the kids have been pretty good! I hope all of you guys have a great week! We have a birthday in the family this week so I will be busy celebrating the birth of the greatest 10 year old boy on the planet!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The biggest lie I was told

Dear the person that convinced me that having my kids 20 months apart was a good idea,


                                                            My nerves

I always thought that maybe I fought a lot with my sister because we were too far apart to really relate to each other but now that I see my children together I realize that we actually didn't fight that much at all compared to the 12 hour a day boxing tournament that goes on at my house.

I was always told that they would play together and make my life so much easier and entertain themselves so I have time to get things done and be best friends so they don't depend on having outside friends so much...ALL LIES!

My kids fight like they are training for the UFC and it's driving me crazy! They fight over different toys, they fight over the same toys, they fight over food, cups, candy, who gets to do everything first even get dressed, they fight over the tv, they fight over the dog and of course they are going to fight over Brian and me. They will bicker and argue going down the road or walking through a store and God forbid one touches the elevator button out of turn...there will be hell to pay!

I feel like a referee all day long. A referee that needs a shower, a day at the spa and possibly a therapist but a referee none the less. I don't know what to do. I want them to love each other as much as I love them. Plus I really like my hair and if I hear "I had that pirst" (first, no one can pronounce "f" words yet) I am afraid I won't be able to restrain from pulling it all out!!

Oh well it's just another day in paradise :) Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

It's a LONG story

We had a guy come in and fix our satellite and he got to see first hand how very long a story can be from a 4 year old. Its amazing that people that are two feet tall and aren't allowed further than the front porch alone can find so much to say!

Jake can turn a simple question like "which bedroom is yours" into a thirty minute conversation and then little Connor repeats everything he says so we get it twice! Monkey See, Monkey do with those two all the time! The satellite guy found that out when they taped his legs together while he was busy programming our tv.

Oh and it was really nice when Jake informed the guy that he (the man) was not near as strong or tall as his dad. I am perfectly sure the highlight of his day was being told he is inadequate by two toddlers. (Satellite man if you happen to ever read this they make me feel that way too)

Anyway I just wanted to post to let everyone know that I am back online after a week of no tv and internet due to the lightening storms last week. And also introduce you guys to the newest member of my family.

Pick yourself up off the floor I have not reproduced again! I don't think the world is ready for another one of my biological children yet but I did adopt a daughter just one of a different breed...

This is Princess Phoebe and excuse her dirty face she is just trying to fit in with her brothers!

Monday, September 10, 2012

There are no words...

Well there are plenty of words but most of them are x rated and shouldn't be said in front of children that describe how I felt when this happened

Now if you have never cleaned a pound of margarine off of a toddler you probably have a normal life that I can not relate to but you should know in case it ever happens it is a pain in the @!&! It took three baths to get all that off of him. I did very well at maintaining composure though. I just kept telling my self that this is the same little baby that I rock every night and play little pigs with his toes and the monster (aka terrible twos) that has started destroying every inch of my home and throwing major tantrums will be leaving soon.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Update on the Squishy Baff

I have a post several weeks ago about the night that we bought this product called Squishy Baff. In case you missed that one or don't remember I will tell you that Jake didn't like how it felt in his bath water. His exact words were something along the lines of "it feels gross on my butt" but the crap is 10 dollars a box so I didn't want it to go to waste. So yesterday when the kids got bored with tearing the house apart and beating each other like boxers in training I decided to try the Squishy Bath in the water table.

They loved it! Things were going so well so I decided to go in and catch up on Army Wives. I know, I know horrible mother but I just wanted a few minutes to myself...sue me! Anyway the kids were locked in on the deck and perfectly content so why not. After about 5 minutes I decided to look out and check in and this is what I found...

Have a great weekend!!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Its been one of those days

Yes, just one of those days if your spend your days in a MENTAL INSTITUTION!!! We have had a pretty decent week, hectic but ok. Then today everything has gone totally insane. I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall into a false sense of security that my life has finally become normal and manageable but it had been an entire week since we had anyone streak through a public place, pee on anything other than toilets (and the occasional tree), put any live critters down the air vents or break out into a full on brawl in the middle of a store. We actually went to church on Sunday and was not the loudest people there!! It appeared that we were making progress...until today. 

Today has been a nightmare since my alarm went off this morning. It is 9am and I have already broke up about 9 fights, dealt with Jake having a million meltdowns over everything from how much toothpaste he got to who got in the car first to what episode of Fireman Sam Sprout decided to play today and vacuumed a 5lb bag of sugar out of my sofa! Oh and I must not forget to add the chocolate doughnut castle that was left in my kitchen. My house looks like a crime scene!

I think I have a good suspect though!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Hoping you and yours had a great weekend!

I have had such a crazy busy week with school starting back and two dentist appointments and a cookout and a dedication on top of my usual crazy days I haven't even had time to get on here. I really miss my blog when I don't have time to post and I am sure you guys just desperately miss me but I will be back on track in a day or two when things calm down. In the mean time here are some pictures from our weekend so you don't forget about us! Also I am sorry I am late on it but I hope all of you guys had a great Labor Day!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

In case you didn't get the memo

Apparently it's Nudie Tuesday!

Not to be confused with the previous holiday of Topless Monday or the following holidays of Bottomless Wednesday, Only Hats Thursday, or Streaking Friday!

Have a good week Crazy Readers :)

Thursday, August 23, 2012

And God said let there be nap times

Just when I think I can't take the fighting, screaming, spilling, falling, nakedness and mystery stains any longer and I am threatening to donate my live body to science just to get a few minutes of peace with someone that can pronounce words the way the English language was intended, a miracle occurs. While I like to refer to this incident as a blessing from a higher power to reassure me that I am  doing a good job and I deserve a reward we will call it nap time just to keep things simple...

You may say that nap times are not heavenly blessed events but it will be hard for me to hear you over my feet tapping to the hallelujah song all these angels are singing!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

All on a Saturday Night

Let me just say I LOVE WEEKENDS! I love being free of schedules and I love that my husband is home to wrangle the chaos with me. Even though they still out number us with the two of us we are bigger and stronger and sometimes smarter!

This weekend we only had the two youngest kids because my oldest spent the weekend with my parents. I like when they take one at a time because I feel like it gives that child some special attention plus I get to spend time with whatever two is left at home.

Brian has either gotten over the screaming, vomiting, fighting, spilling and peeing that normally goes on when we go out to eat or its like labor with time you forget how much it hurts because he wanted to go out to eat last night WITH the two little hurricanes.

All in all I think it went pretty well especially considering the kitchen was backed up so we had quite a wait. My children entertained everyone on our side of the restaurant with plenty of high fives and laughing. Typically I hate when strangers talk to them because they will go from sitting silently to swinging from the ceiling fans in a matter of seconds when someone speaks to them but last night they were ok. Connor charmed the crowd with his sweet smiles and heart melting giggles. Jake got lots of laughs with his silly faces and hip thrusting "dirty dancing" fyi NOT LEARNED BEHAVIOR.

So anyway other than a bumped head and Con cutting my finger with a knife dinner was pretty fun! We ended the evening with a quick trip in Walmart (never is quick with two little people) to get bath paint and a product called Squishy Baff. Its the grossest stuff ever if you have never used it but my kids liked it a lot. Jake said it feels weird on your butt but other than that it was fun.

I said I was going to stop using words like naked and nudie because it tricks google searchers into finding my blog when they are probably looking for something more frisky but I can't help it my kids are always naked! At least this time they were actually supposed to be!

Now I am sad that it is Sunday, I can feel Monday's dark dreariness creeping in already!

Monday, August 13, 2012

You know your are mom (part 3)

Per the readers request I think this will be an on going posting...I aim to please :)

You know your a parent if...

You have ever done a "sniff" test to determine what kind of job has been done in the diaper

You know that babies only poop in clean, dry diapers

You have cut a grape into fours out of fear of choking your tiny human to death

You ask permission before cutting, peeling or dissecting of any kind of a snack for a toddler

You know that if you don't ask permission they are going to say they wanted said snack in the opposite form of which you hand it to them

You have ever ate part of that snack off the floor because you haven't had time to make yourself anything

You have had on that shirt since yesterday or maybe the day before...who the hell knows

You understand the difference in crying and whining

You have ever played hide and seek just for a minute of quiet time

You have text your spouse while they are home because its never quiet enough to tell them anything anymore

You have felt inferior around mothers at the park that remembered to bring band aids and baby wipes

You have felt superior to mothers when your child does a basic human function first (sit up, walk, talk, potty)...even if her child does the same thing later that same day.

You really know that it's not a sign that your a doing a better job but you feel proud anyway

You have slept on random pieces of furniture of your house because its the only place not wet or already taken

You have cursed the floor, phone, dog, or any other object that makes any type of sound during nap time

You have nearly dislocated a shoulder trying to reach in the back seat while driving to hand a screaming child a paci, bottle, sippy or anything else not worth risking your life for

You have wondered after taking 3 hours to get ready and an hour to load in the car if you really need groceries after all

You are reading this post and have said yes to at least 5 statements :)

Have a great week crazies!!!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Who can say No to that sweet face

Little Connor just came up to me and said he wanted a ba-ba and his wubba. I gave him my serious face and told him he was getting too big for those things.

In response he gave me a kiss

Then made this face and said "I a baby"

In case you don't know yet who won out in this conversation...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Don't try this at home...

This post is actually for kids! Don't waste your time or your mom's vegetable oil because even if you grease your baby brother down "weally good" with it HE STILL WON'T FIT DOWN THE AIR VENT.

Oh and its not nice or safe to put humans down the air vents!!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

A whole lotta screamin' going on

94 minutes...94 that is not the length of the movie I just watched while my children peacefully slept. No that is not the length of time I spent relaxing in a hot bubble bath and NO that is not the amount of time that my children napped today.

94 minutes is how long my teething toddler screamed because I gave his blue cup to Jake which is identical to the other cup that I tried to give him.

Now if you do not have kids you are probably not reading this blog but if you are then you are thinking that doesn't sound that bad so let me give you an example of what a child screaming for 94 minutes would be like...

Ok, now are we in clear agreement that it would be annoying?

I think I handled the situation well. And by well I mean about half an hour in I was cramming my face full of junk food and crying a  little lot...don't judge me, at least I am sober minus a little sugar high.

This blog was never intended to be an advice column. I have issues, I get it but if you are feeling like your about to lose it remember no one can hear you curse with donuts in your mouth

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Just for a minute...

If you have been reading my blog you may have noticed I am a bit high strung, over stressed and very anxious most of the time. All are attributes of my personality that I wish I could change. I have been reading lately about ways to just relax and release some of the stress without becoming a closeted alcoholic or physically harming random people.

I have been doing yoga and different types of meditation for quite a while but I also have been practicing a time out approach that I read about. Not a time out as a punishment but a time out as a reward for hard work or making it through a stressful day without a criminal record.

Everyday I am now going to try to give my mind a time out. A time out away from cleaning and bills and screaming kids and annoying people and just soak in the joy around me.

Right now I am sitting on my deck overlooking my kids place in various stages of undressed in the sand and water in the back yard. I can smell the scent of sunshine, sunscreen and bug repellent all around me. I can feel their energy as they run full force across the yard. I can experience the same thrilling chills they have as they go higher and higher on the swing. I can see the pride on their face when their sand castle turns out perfect. I can see the amazement in their eyes as they watch the large butterfly swoosh by. I can see their immaturity and innocence shining through their smiles and laughter.

Yes an hour from now I can worry about the house and the laundry but just for this minute I am going to bask in the peace I feel around me.

Take a time out, you never know what joy you will find :)

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Some of you are dirty but I like you anyway

I was just reading another blog and it refered to "keyword" searches that bring people to your blog so I had to go check mine out. The number one term people are google searching that is bringing up my blog is "naked" and number two is "dirty"

So apparently some of you guys are looking for something a little friskier and you are ending up here but regardless of how we find each other I just want to take this time to say thank you for dropping in and please don't be naked while you are reading my creeps me out :)

Happy Tuesday "Crazy" Readers and Dirty Nudie Searchers!!

PS I need to say these are actually number one and number two under directly searching Pleasantly Crazy.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

He's a magic man

I have been on a quest lately to have a one on one "date" with each of my kids and this Saturday morning I went out with Jake (the four year old for you new readers). He told me he saved up his money to buy me a bickit (biscuit) and big truck but we settled on Krispie Kreme and a little treat. It did melt my heart that he offered to spend his money on me though and I couldn't help but smile when he pulled out his baggy of pennies to show me he was ready to go!   I love getting to spend time with them alone because that is when the fighting stops and their true personalities really shine through. Plus I get to learn more about their likes, dislikes and the things they are really looking foward to.

Jake informed me that is tired of A B C D E F Gs and is ready to learn to read real books that have this many (holds up 10 fingers) words on each page and he wants to learn what numbers come after 17 because his piggy toe wants a number too.

I loved getting to hear him talk about how his favorite color will always be yellow but he struggles with picking a favorite between Caillou and Fireman Sam. He wants to be a "worker man" when he grows up and he hopes to learn how to do read, write and do laundry at school next year.

We were looking at how water in the sun will make a rainbow when were in the parking lot. I told him that he must be magic to make something that special happen in which he informed me that "magic mans"only make rabbits and I need to pay more attention at story time so I know these things. But while he wasn't pulling rabbits out of his hat  he will probably never know just how magical him and his brothers are to me. They took my plain ordinary life and magically turned it into something amazing by just being in it!

Thanks for one of the greatest "dates" I have ever had! I look foward to many more!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

How many are you?

Jake: Mommy how many are you?
Me: I am all your fingers plus all mine plus all of Daddy's
Jake: Dang thats a lot of pangers...

Yes that is a lot of "pangers" I am a lot of "pangers" I have been 30 for two months today and surprisingly it sucks a lot more than my friends warned me that it would...thanks guys. Well not much has changed appearance wise or really much as far as energy level. I still like who I am and the life I have but its the big fat realization of how fast youth goes by that is getting to me. Its not even my youth that I am concerned about but how fast my children's youth is going by. I mean yesterday I was rocking Dalton in my arms and today he is talking about going to jr high soon. My Jake will be starting kindergarten next year and my baby boy is using the potty...THE POTTY FOR GOD SAKES!!

I am not typically a slow learner so I am not sure why it took turning 30 for me to realize my own mortality but now that I have its all I think about. Every night I go to bed wondering if I got enough in today. Did I teach them enough? Did I hold them enough? Was I too rough on them? Did I handle it right one taped the other to floor?

I don't know if I am just hormonal for some reason or if this is some kind of early mid life crisis but I am having a hard time letting go of the past. I guess I  just want to make sure when the next decade is gone in the blink of an eye like the last one that I have no regrets which I know is probably impossible but I want to do everything possible to give them a happy childhood to look back on and tell their own kids about. Oh and I hope that I never forget the sweet smell of a little boys hair after a day of playing outside!! So if you see me sniffing my kids hair just ignore it I am just trying to absorb in a memory that I never want to forget!

Here's to making memories!!